I Did It For You ~ Part 5

Aileen stared blankly into the computer screen, her finger tapping restlessly on the keyboard. Derek had an amazing voice. And recording the demo with him had been so much fun. She remembered the look of pure happiness that had passed over his face while they were singing. It had made her wish there was a way for him to be that happy all the time.

The operation would do that. All she had to do was give up her future. 

As she sat there, she started thinking over the conversation between her parents. The wheels in her head were turning so fast it made her dizzy. I would do anything to help Derek. The words from her prayer shot through her.

She groaned and lay her head on the table. 

“Why, Lord?” she cried out. “This isn’t your way of telling me, is it?” 

She wasn’t at all sure she meant those words anymore. Give up her one, and possibly only, chance at fulfilling her dream? No, she just couldn’t do it. 

“Please, please don’t make me do it,” she pleaded. But memories of Derek’s unhappiness pricked her.

“Who’s more important?” a little voice asked her. “You or Derek? Your dream or Derek’s sight?” 

She moaned. It was going to be a long day. 

At dinner, she was still struggling with her conscience. A constant battle had been raging through her head all day. But exhausted though she was, she couldn’t help but notice when her father asked to talk to Derek in his room after dinner. 

The rest of the family had just finished cleaning up from the evening meal when Derek’s door opened and he walked into the kitchen. 

Aileen was about to ask him what had happened when she saw his face. He was struggling to keep his emotions in check. Mumbling something incoherent, Derek moved slowly toward the front door. It closed quietly behind him. 

Her father entered the kitchen, a concerned look on his face. “Did Derek go outside?” he asked. 

Mrs. Forrest nodded. “You told him?” 

“Yes,” Mr. Forrest sighed. 

“Dad, what’s wrong?” Ed looked as confused as the rest of the children. 

“To make a long story short, the officials found Derek’s aunt,” their father sat down heavily on a kitchen chair. He removed a piece of paper from his pocket. “She says this: ‘I am a busy woman, Mr. Forrest. I simply can not be bothered with a boy who claims to be by nephew. A blind boy, at that. After my sister, Pauline, married that low-down Miller man, I refused to stay in contact with her. Therefore, as far as I am concerned, she never had a son.’”

The room became deathly quiet. Stunned, Aileen bolted from the room. 

She went to the barn, dazed at the cruelty of the woman’s words. How could anyone be so mean? she thought angrily. Then she heard a muffled noise from one of the stalls. 

She walked silently through the barn. In the last stall lay Derek, crumpled in a heap. His mask of bravado had disappeared. Sobs tore through his body in an agony of despair and loneliness. 

For a time, Aileen only stood there, feeling Derek’s pain and wishing she could do something that would take away all his hurt. As his cries lessened, she finally spoke. 

“Do you want to talk, Derek?” 

His body stiffened in surprise at finding her there. Then he said, “I’m a nobody.” 

Aileen frowned. “Don’t say that, Derek! You’re a very special person.” 

“Really? Well, it sure doesn’t seem like it. If I am, then how come no one loves me? No one- ” his voice cracked. “No one wants me.” 

“But people still love you - ” Aileen started. 

“The only people that ever truly loved me were Mom and Dad. And they’re dead. Dead, Aileen Forrest! Now no one cares about me. So please, just leave me alone,” Derek trembled. 

The girl, undaunted, stepped closer. “I care for you, Derek.” 

“Ha! You care for me? I don’t think so! I’ll bet if you had to decide between me and that dream of yours, you’d choose it over me.”

Aileen recoiled as if she had been slapped. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Aileen lay down on her bed. Tapping her iPod, she started listening to the cover she had recorded with Derek earlier that day.

Letting go of every single dream

I lay each one down at Your feet

Every moment of my wandering

Never changes what You see

She froze as she realized what she was hearing.

Truth is You know what tomorrow brings

There’s not a day ahead You have not seen

So in all things be my life and breath

I want what You want Lord, and nothing less

When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move

When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through 

When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You! 

Tears dropped onto her pillow. She was sure now. God was telling her to do it. Derek needed someone to show him that he was loved - and Aileen was that someone. She closed her eyes tightly. I will trust in You, Lord, she prayed. 

She pulled herself up from her bed and crept over to the closet. Reaching up, she took down her blue box and removed a big white envelope. 

Aileen found her parents in the living room, sitting in front of the fire. 

“Mom, Dad - ” Her parents turned towards her. Before they could say anything, Aileen hastily handed the envelope to her father. 

Mr. Forrest took it and looked at her questioningly. “What is this for?” 

She took a deep breath. “I want to use it for Derek’s operation.” 

Her parents looked surprised. 

“I overheard you talking about it, and how you needed the money, and well, here it is.” 

“Aileen,” her mother hesitated. “Is this your plane fare?” 

She nodded silently.